Thoughts on medals of Olympic proportions

A few notes from Juan Veils of Notipaco in Colombia on the 
subject of Olympic medals:

No sooner had the Olympic games in Athens kicked off than it 
appears that Colombia has been virtually guaranteed several 
medals.

Target shooting: 45,000 violent deaths every year have given 
Colombia direct entry into the finals for a shot at a medal. 
However, Colombia has a record for hitting the wrong target. They 
hit the blacks, the Indigenous people, mixed-race and other 
marginalised people. The contenders are the valiant, patriotic, 
generous and distinguished infantrymen from the Army who, at a 
distance of mere centimetres, recently managed to find the heads 
of three elusive union leaders.

Conjuring: To former president Julio Cesar Turbay Ayala for being 
a ghost from the past who, along with other dried up mummies, has 
risen from the midst of the moans and fog of the swamp like vital 
young people pregnant with a radiant creature they call Patria 
Nueva [the "New Fatherland" movement he will lead in the next 
elections].

Oratory: The Government's so-called High Commissioner For Peace, 
"Doctor Tenderness", is the clear winner. The columns of the 
parliament trembled like those shaken by the biblical Samson 
under the uncontrollable force of his cynicism, fraud, 
transgressions and brazenness.

Long distance hurdles: A collective triumph for all 29 million 
Colombians and especially who live in absolute poverty and must 
endure all sorts of vicissitudes and obstacles simply to survive 
from day to day.

Weight lifting: Awarded to President Alvaro Uribe Vilez for his 
titanic effort in holding so high his statesman-like image while 
under his Napoleonic reign the country bleeds and misery, hunger, 
corruption and cronyism flourish.

For optimism: To those of us who in spite of all the dead, the 
cronies, the demagogues, the inequalities, the misery, the 
sycophants and supporters of the status quo still believe in the 
possibility of the joy and triumph of life, the Olympic medal 
that we so desperately seek.

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Unofficial Translation