The Guardian 7 November, 2007
Culture and Life
by Amalia Ridwan
To become an Australian citizen
There’s never been a better time!
1. What are budgie smugglers?
"Swimming trunks, the male version… usually accompanied by tissue paper or something like a tennis ball."
– ACT Minister for Multiculturalism, John Hargreaves’ answer to question 1 on my version of the citizenship test.
"People who take budgies overseas for the purpose of sale."
– Ananth, age 23, (an Indian citizen living in Bruce) answered the same question.
Prior to the enactment of the 30-question multiple choice Australian Citizenship Test Amalia Ridwan, on the Federation of Ethnic Communities’ Councils of Australia website, decided to test 30 current Australian citizens (many of whom are Australian-born and bred), and an Indian citizen to see whether they could correctly answer some potential questions.
My 30 questions ranged from "when was Prime Minister Gough Whitlam dismissed?" to "the phrase ‘Strewth’ and ‘Flamin’ Dingo’ can be attributed to which Australian TV character?"
Face it, the only reason you know that Australia’s first Prime Minister is Sir Edmund Barton is because the annoying "Federation of Australia" ad worked!
The best answered questions were "Skippy was a…..?", "We’re happy little…..?", and everybody could identify that Phar Lap was a horse (some even said that he had a huge heart).
They also knew that although Australia is home to a "Big Merino", a "Big Banana", a "Big Rock", a "Big Pineapple", and a "Big Prawn", surprisingly we do not yet have a "Big Kangaroo".
A "test" or "trivia"?
The rest of the story is significantly bleaker.
Not one person could correctly answer what may be considered the most important question to Australians… "What are the Australian national public holidays?" This is even more disappointing of Canberrans, a city which is known as the "home of the public servant"!
According to the answers on my test, the population of Australia is anything between 10 million and six billion. Most people did not know within how many years a national general election must be held. The answers ranged from two years to six.
Only one person could correctly describe the Torres Strait Islander flag, and its meaning. And most did not know what event either Anzac Day or Australia Day marked.
Knowing what Australians value and understanding the history of a country is an important part of becoming apart of its future.
The Australian Government has said the planned citizenship test is intended to achieve "cohesion" and "integration". But can a multiple-choice test given in a time frame of 45 to 60 minutes achieve this outcome? How important is knowing the animals on the national coat of arms? (Apart from that they both may end up in pies!)
The Prime Minister said he would like to see a question about cricket. Does this mean subjecting people to watching cricket as they study the "LBW" rules? Or will people be able to find all the answers in books like the British "Complete Training Kit for Life in the UK Test", on sale for only £10 (AU$25). Test takers will also need to have a sound grasp on English. So expect to see the definition of "bludger", "snag", "Sheila", "hooroo" and "grundies" in our citizenship guide.
The Australian Government argues that studying for, and successfully completing the citizenship test demonstrates a commitment to Australian values and a desire to be apart of the Australian community. But we have all memorised facts to pass our History tests, and then when History was no longer a compulsory subject, we quit.
Playing trivia does not fairly assess the commitment to Australia that people may have made for many years by contributing to the community in a number of ways.
The American test asks how many stars and stripes are on the flag, so if you can count you have what it takes to be a great US citizen. It also asks what colours the stars and stripes are. This is a bit discriminatory to the colour blind, don’t you think? We can only imagine how many potentially great Australian citizens will be denied of a "fair go" but the Australian Citizenship test.
And you?
Would you pass the "Australian citizenship test"? See if you can choose the correct answer from some of the most incorrect answers I received from Australian citizens.
What event is commemorated by Australia Day?
a) "Federation, Australia becoming a country" — Sue (50) of Macarthur
b) "When Australia became a nation" — Danni of Civic
c) "Invasion of Australia by British conquerors" — Minister John Hargreaves
d) "Landing of the first fleet in Sydney Cove" — Ben (20) of Gowrie
What is the floral emblem of Australia?
a) "Gum nut" — Michael (43) of Florey
b) "Kangaroo Paw" — Amy (20) of Macarthur
c) "Wattle" — Courtney (20) of Bruce
d) "Banksia" — Alex (24) of Barton
e) "Waratah" — Jay (19) of Belconnen
Who wrote the song Waltzing Matilda?
a) "Peterson?" — Eddie (53) of Gowrie
b) "A man from Snowy River" — Amy of Macarthur
c) "Les Pattison" — Ben of Gowrie
d) "‘Banjo’ Patterson" — Kate (18) of Bathurst
d) "Slim Dusty" — Sofia (23) of Kingston
e) "John Williamson" — Daniel of Fyshwick
How many stars are on the Australian flag?
a) "Eight. Our states and territories" — Danni of Civic
b) "Five, some stars in the sky… I know it’s a constellation" — Amy of Macarthur
c) "Six stars, they represent the states" — Nancy of Canberra City
d) "Six. Five represent the Southern Cross. One which has seven points represents the Federation of colonies and Commonwealth of Australia" — Michael of Florey
What does the Torres Strait Islander flag look like, and what does it represent?
a) "?" — said 80% of test takers
b) "Blue, water. Green, floral. Black, the earth" — Ben of Gowrie
c) "Blue, green and black with a person squatting upside down. It means people coming together with the earth" — Sofia of Kingston
(Correct answer: "The Torres Strait Islander flag has green stripes representing the land, black stripes representing the people, and blue representing the sea. In the centre is a white headdress which is a symbol of Torres Strait Islanders. The white five pointed star beneath it symbolises the five major island groups." — www.ausflag.com.au/flags/torres.html)
What is the scientific name for the kangaroo?
a) "Kangarooius Animalius" — Jay of Belconnen
b) "Macropus Giganteus" — Anon.
c) "Icnathius Untango" — Nicolos (19) of Bruce
Australia’s system of government is based on which tradition?
a) "Traditionally Westminster." — Sofia of Kingston
b) "Roman?" — Ben of Gowrie
c) "British" — Beck of Civic
d) "Westminister" — Ray of Macarthur
e) "Monarchy" — a construction worker in Fyshwick
Who is the man behind Dame Edna Everage?
a) "Tom Edwards" — Amy of Macarthur
b) "B Hogan" — Beck of Civic
c) "Eddie McGuire" — Nicolos of Bruce
d) "Barry Humphries" — Ceri (50) of Gowrie
Where is Coober Pedy?
a) "Western Australia" — John of Fyshwick
b) "Northern Territory" — Amy of Macarthur
c) "South Australia" — Rose of Tuggeranong
What does "mad as a cut snake" mean?
a) "Dead" — Ann (20) of Belconnen
b) "Really angry" — Courtney of Bruce
c) "Cranky" — Megan (19) of Bruce
d) "Crazy/psycho/energetic" — Manon (18) of Belconnen
What questions do you think should be on the test?
"Some road rules and BBQ etiquette" — Ben of Gowrie
"Do you plan to assimilate into Australia and its culture?" — Sue of Macarthur
"What is the capital of Australia? Most people think it is Sydney. My wife did when she first came here from Russia" — Michael of Florey
So, what do you think about the citizenship test?
"Learning poetry has nothing to do with the character of the person. Their contribution is more important than passing a test. What is important is the colour of the heart, not the colour of memory" — John Hargreaves
"I think it’s a good idea, but you can’t make people be Australian with a test" — Manon of Belconnen
"Rubbish" — Ben of Gowrie
"It has nothing to do with being Australian" — Amy of Gowrie
"Load of bureaucratic nonsense" — Michael of Florey
"Lots of fun" — Danni, of Civic (I think she was referring to my test!)
"It is a great idea. It is important for new people coming into the country to understand our background, morals and geography" — a construction worker in Fyshwick.