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Issue #1708      October 28, 2015

Indians not connected to power grid glad Australia is producing highly moral coal

Millions of poverty stricken Indians have been seen celebrating and dancing in the streets in the wake of Australia’s approval of the Adani coal mine this week, reports suggest.

Harmandeep Choudry, an Indian slum-dweller living in the western Indian state of Gujarat, told Common Tern that people’s lives will change thanks to Environment Minister Greg Hunt’s decision to approve the mine.

“We are just ecstatic,” said Mr Choudry. “It has been a long time since Australia has acted morally and even though only one in five Indians are connected to a power grid, this completely irrelevant proclamation by your Minister is truly something to celebrate,” he said.

“Not since Shane Warne last played cricket in India have we seen the strength of moral character people have come to expect from Australian exports. Your Energy Minister Josh Frydenberg has spoken deeply of this and as a result we think Indians will revere him forever,” said Choudry.

The Adani coal mine was approved subject to meeting “the highest environmental standards,” according to Energy Minister Frydenberg.

“This is very moral coal,” he said. “This coal doesn’t behave like any coal we’ve previously known, and it is particularly fond of poor people with no access to electricity. It’s great that Adani will be producing coal that has a social conscience and can help people living in slums, even if only psychologically,” said Frydenberg.

Common Tern flies over the heads but beware not to take him too seriously …

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