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Issue #1710      November 11, 2015

The Common Tern

Letter Z says LGBTIQ and A have ostracised other members of the English alphabet

Speaking from the alphabet’s spiritual home in Oxford, England, the letter Z said its exclusion from what is now believed to be the English language’s longest acronym was hurtful and in fact constituted discrimination.

“I don’t understand it,” said Z. “It was Christian missionaries who first brought us Alphabetians to England, and Christians are meant to be all about kindness and inclusion, regardless of class or social stature. Yet here we have a clear cut example of alphabet bigotry,” it said. “It’s hard enough being the last letter in the alphabet and being constantly overlooked by most English words,” said Z. “On top of this there’s the confusion about my pronunciation, and now I’ve been left out by those who should know what it feels like to be marginalised.”

Z told Common Tern it had decided to speak out after the recent inclusion of the letter A in the acronym. “When the acronym got to Q, I felt things were looking up. Then I find out last week that A has managed to weasel itself into the limelight yet again.

“There are clearly some who think they have more rights than others and I’ll be considering a legal challenge to these A-listers and any others that are added,” Z said. It’s also rumoured that chromosomes X and Y are considering joining Z in any legal action due to their obviously bizarre omissions.

Common Tern flies over the heads but beware not to take him too seriously …

Next article – Medicare privatisation at full tilt

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