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Issue #1718      February 10, 2016

Sauce bottle wants fair shake for UN-bound Krudd

Kevin Rudd’s biggest, and possibly only supporter outside Queensland says Cory Bernadi is very rude and should withdraw his objection to the former Prime Minister being put forward for the job of UN Secretary-General.

Known only as “Sauce”, Mr Rudd’s number one fan says Bernadi’s claims reveal him as a horrible piece of gristle not fit for the filling of a reheated meat pie, let alone a seat in federal parliament.

“I don’t know how people voted for this Pelican, I mean he’s a real nasty pasty and wouldn’t know a pie floater from chiko roll,” said Sauce.

“And let, me, say, this … I think Kevin 007 is the right bloke for the top job. Cory Bernadi is all ‘… Kevin’s a megalomaniac, Kevin’s a bastard, Kevin’s vengeful, … zib, zab, zob’ but ya know, he’s really just one of the ordinary Aussie folk. “Do you know something? You can take the boy out of Nambour but you can’t take Nambour out of the boy.”

That may be so but if Senator Bernadi’s wishes fall on deaf ears or, god forbid, he’s struck down by another bout of Libyan tuberculosis Mr Rudd could well find himself eating Iced Vovos while sipping some Twinings at the UN’s New York headquarters. Let’s hope the Chinese interpreters speak half decent Mandarin.

Gotta zip!

The Common Tern is back and ready to wreak havoc on our shores after a successful breeding season in the northern hemisphere.

Next article – Climate – Mad attempt to reverse the course of history

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