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Issue #1720      February 24, 2016

Royal Commission shock, waste dump mooted for SA Parliament

The Royal Commission into the Nuclear Fuel Cycle held a public meeting at the Adelaide Town Hall on Monday February 15 to announce its tentative findings which, not surprisingly, include the creation of at least two dumps.

“We’ve looked very hard at all the options and decided we need both high and low level waste dumps,” said Royal Commissioner Kevin Scarce.

“While there is plenty of public opposition to a waste dump in this state, the evidence clearly shows that a facility is long overdue … and Parliament House would be the most appropriate location,” he said, to the surprise of many.

“For decades Australian politics has been producing incredible waste and it’s just been piling up and up; it’s time some of it was properly stored and with all of the wasted space inside Parliament House, it was the obvious location.”

Scarce admitted the job of the Commission had been made slightly harder because of Australia’s tradition of electing three tiers of government.

“We have to look across the whole spectrum,” he said. “You’ve got low-level waste in many local and state governments, just look at NSW and the number of councils sacked by the ICAC over there. And if you look at some of the ideas coming out of South Australia at the moment, it’s obvious something has to be done here. As for high level waste, the thought of bringing it in from overseas is mind-boggling, I mean just turn on the ABC and watch Question Time in Canberra for a few minutes … you get the drift,” he said.

The meeting attracted its fair share of hecklers, but many in attendance said the best one actually came from Scarce himself who eventually succumbed to frustration after spending an hour trying to convince the angry audience that our politicians are shit: “Stop opposing everything ya tree-hugging numpties, this dump will be good for everyone.”

The Common Tern, dropping guano on anyone who denies our future is a socialist one.

Next article – “Calculated cruelty”

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